Thursday, October 2, 2008

many for john godfrey

((absence. so. poetry, instead.))

where are you? what lies around so many corners? are they edges, lines? can you cross the lines? where do you go with three left turns? do you go right? do you go astray? do corners form shapes when joined with wires? can you play connect-the-dots tin-can-telephone-style with the world? are banks connected to jails connected to hospitals connected to mortuaries connected to nursery schools, strip clubs, grocery stores, used car lots, the 4 5 and 6 trains? is each corner related to heaven? is yours a city based around orion’s belt and the great bear’s back? are your bridges composed of corners? do you traverse mountains and valleys formed by right angled edges? what does her face hold? can you feel her misuse? did you misuse her? do you still? does she desire to be used? would you do anything to please her? do you hold a blanket? is it made from skin of girl to keep you warm and safe? or would you rather it be synthetic, so you miss nothing of anyone? what do you wish? do you dream? at night, midday—goals or subconscious? do you expect us to believe your claims of not wanting to tame the blue? what else is there if not conquest? is that how you saw her? how many "her"s are there? are they all one? do you shudder when you see her? do you hide behind shadows of yourself? where do you find the ever-present fire? do her eyes burn you? do you talk of fireballs and cinders hidden under crashing lashes because of the pain? does it surprise you that she is made of curves and skin and soul rather than right angles? do fog and feathers clutter your conscience? is confusion constant when the wires are gone? where do the wires go? are you all disconnected now? how will you find one another? or do you wish to be left alone? can names still sting when you’ve never heard them? is justice blind there? is justice present in a city continually tethered with wire stiff enough to keep you just out of reach? what is love there? is it distance? is it being treasured because or in spite of wires? is it sexual--the rubbing of brick corner to corner, friction producing sparks? does too much rubbing break concrete skin? what color is blood when skin is grey? can a virgin corner be spotted from blocks away? is she stainless? does she glow? what do nipples look like in a city of colliding corners? is cancer the color of blood or skin or something else? where do you find cigarettes in a city of corners? do they fill your cracks with yellow smoke and orange glow? is this how you keep warm? is she a marionette? if she calls herself magnetic, is she attached to wires in each finger, toe, temple? do you control the wires? do you make her dance onto subway platforms so men can admire her? are you powerless? do you wish to keep her locked away 'til her magnetism pulls only you? if your dreams are all the same, is the goal simply love? what color is light there? do you hide from beams or chase their warmth? is the corner-collage cold? how do corners mourn? do they curl in and out on themselves? is this the comfort of corners in the face of death? how do you die there? are tombs composed of only corners? hexahedrons? octahedrons? dodecahedrons? or do you, in death, oppose the everyday, lie waiting for eternity in an egg, as you lay in wait for life? where are your angels? are they hiding from the bloody corners and encapsulated corpses? isn't it their job to save? what do corners sound like? can you hear there? or do your ears ring with silence too loud? is the echo inside or outside? are you inside or outside? how ugly are your streets? are they full of trash? do you find it beautiful? is there a purpose to so many doors and windows? can you enter and exit? or are you trapped? is there some breeze? or is the air so stale on each side? is everything adorned with a lock? are you? when you take the a train, are you above water? does the queens g take you below churro shops and chipped antique dealers? does god dwell in a city of corners? is he inside or outside? with you or without you? does he command your angels? does he control your angles? do you feel his presence? do you feel weight beyond brick or adobe? do you feel words? does judgement hinder and hold you? how many of you are there? does the pigeonhole principle apply? if homes inside of corners make rooms, what do homes outside of corners make? which is yours? do you interact? or is yours a city of hermitage? can it, then, be called a city? are you held accountable for one another? are you held accountable for villainy towards her? or are your corner-to-corner apartment thresholds never to be breached? if you've never met, how did you use her? did you misuse her in doorways and windows so as to not splinter the carefully laid boundaries? or did you simply watch her? did you, do you voyeur to the point of disgust? is she worthless? or is all of her worth in hips, lips, and nipples? what language do you speak? if the boundaries remain intact, do you speak at all? does your home shift, as in dreams? do you wake up in rooms not your own? does your head spin from unconscious relocation? is there some willy wonka sideways elevator there, controlled by nothing more than whims? wait—is it cardboard or concrete? shallow or shadow? what do you mean by “beautiful”? is there a mole above her lip, a twist in her hips? is the rain melting your cardboard cave, dripping chinese torture on your chest? is there a child blossoming in a womb somehow warm in a city so cold? what is your beautiful? does mephistopheles dance down the alleys between corners, under wires, through your line of voyeuristic vision into her window? are we similar at all, or is it wrong to assume that you live in a universe all your own? if there are others in there with you, so that you are not isolated, is it too much to suggest that you all are not with us?

for more about john godfrey: review, bones

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

wow. that gave me a shiver.